Post by Deadpool on Jun 12, 2006 18:40:54 GMT -5
Wade sat in his chair, in his apartment. It was shot up, dirty, and numerous odors came from it. No one would want to live here.
"Pfft. Please. Those X-Men guys would'a KILLED to have this kinda pad!"
Wade looked at the TV, watching his favorite cartoon. Ironically, it was a cartoon about fluffy bunnies with machine guns shooting out 'fun' bullets. Laughing, Wade swigged more of his drink, believing it to be wine. In actuality, it was juice. It wasn't even red.
"Yeah, :hic:, yeah... You're just jealous of my extravagant lifestyle!:hic:"
The sad thing was, Wade was partly right. Partly. With the war that had overtaken the world, and the missing heroes, Wade was living better than alot of people were. Which wasn't saying much.
Suddenly, the phone rang. Wade looked it at for a moment, ready to pick it up, before looking back at the TV.
"YEAH! Blow that happy-go-lucky bot's brains out, Commando Fuzzinski!"
Um... Wade...
"Ooooh. Miss Carrotsticks. Now there's a babe."
... Wade...
"KICK HIS-"
WADE!
"Oh, fine. Bunny racist."
Wade picked up the phone, twirling one of his handhelds in his other hand.
"Is this Deadpool, The Assassain?"
Wade put the phone down, and walked away.
"I saw an ad in the paper... It has your number."
...
"Hello?"
Suddenly, Wade stepped back to the phone, now wearing his Deadpool mask.
"Deadpool Assaisain Agency. Better Than The Hand. Deadpool speaking.", Wade answered.
"I have a job for you. It is not an ordinary task... I know it is very possible you'll refuse, but-"
"Accepted!"
"..."
"I haven't even-"
"No, but I don't care. I accept!"
"Listen, you idiot. We're not talking about the typical victim. We're talking about The Batman, of Gotham City. He has meddled in our affairs too long, and it's time he was brought down."
"HOLY- I gets to fight myself?!"
"..."
"What? NO, I-"
"I wanna fight myself! I wanna fight myself! I'll kick my ass so hard, I didn't even know I was coming!"
"........."
"Yes, well... Take out The Batman, and you will recieve a substanstial reward."
"Watermelons."
"...What?"
"Pay me in watermelons. I'm hungry."
"..."
"You don't want... money?"
"Oh, fine, fine... Pay me with money. So I can buy watermelons!"
"...Just do the job."
"Don't worry about it, slicks. I'll make me cry for my mommy. I'll burn me alive! I'll- ... ...Hello? Hello? You there?"
Deadpool shrugged, and took out his sword, before slashing his chair apart.
"Me! You're about to meet your worst fate yet! The deadly BUNNY NINJA POWER!"
...
Why am I working with this guy, again?
"Pfft. Please. Those X-Men guys would'a KILLED to have this kinda pad!"
Wade looked at the TV, watching his favorite cartoon. Ironically, it was a cartoon about fluffy bunnies with machine guns shooting out 'fun' bullets. Laughing, Wade swigged more of his drink, believing it to be wine. In actuality, it was juice. It wasn't even red.
"Yeah, :hic:, yeah... You're just jealous of my extravagant lifestyle!:hic:"
The sad thing was, Wade was partly right. Partly. With the war that had overtaken the world, and the missing heroes, Wade was living better than alot of people were. Which wasn't saying much.
Suddenly, the phone rang. Wade looked it at for a moment, ready to pick it up, before looking back at the TV.
"YEAH! Blow that happy-go-lucky bot's brains out, Commando Fuzzinski!"
Um... Wade...
"Ooooh. Miss Carrotsticks. Now there's a babe."
... Wade...
"KICK HIS-"
WADE!
"Oh, fine. Bunny racist."
Wade picked up the phone, twirling one of his handhelds in his other hand.
"Is this Deadpool, The Assassain?"
Wade put the phone down, and walked away.
"I saw an ad in the paper... It has your number."
...
"Hello?"
Suddenly, Wade stepped back to the phone, now wearing his Deadpool mask.
"Deadpool Assaisain Agency. Better Than The Hand. Deadpool speaking.", Wade answered.
"I have a job for you. It is not an ordinary task... I know it is very possible you'll refuse, but-"
"Accepted!"
"..."
"I haven't even-"
"No, but I don't care. I accept!"
"Listen, you idiot. We're not talking about the typical victim. We're talking about The Batman, of Gotham City. He has meddled in our affairs too long, and it's time he was brought down."
"HOLY- I gets to fight myself?!"
"..."
"What? NO, I-"
"I wanna fight myself! I wanna fight myself! I'll kick my ass so hard, I didn't even know I was coming!"
"........."
"Yes, well... Take out The Batman, and you will recieve a substanstial reward."
"Watermelons."
"...What?"
"Pay me in watermelons. I'm hungry."
"..."
"You don't want... money?"
"Oh, fine, fine... Pay me with money. So I can buy watermelons!"
"...Just do the job."
"Don't worry about it, slicks. I'll make me cry for my mommy. I'll burn me alive! I'll- ... ...Hello? Hello? You there?"
Deadpool shrugged, and took out his sword, before slashing his chair apart.
"Me! You're about to meet your worst fate yet! The deadly BUNNY NINJA POWER!"
...
Why am I working with this guy, again?
